You know what really bothers me? People who say they love you. say they're your friends and that they will always be there for you, and then when you go to them for help, love, compassion and support, they are always too busy. They manage to squeeze everyone else into their tight knit schedule, yet here you are, sitting alone, feeling liek you have no one on your side. And the one person you reach out to can't be bothered. There is always some excuse. Always some "good reason" why they don't have time for you.
And on the other side of things, if any of these people called me for help, even just a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, I would drop everything in a heartbeat for them. Because they are my friends and I love them. But what happens when i need that shoulder? That ear to just hear me out. That person just to be there? They are drinking away their own "problems" with all of their "friends." Glad to be included.
I don't understand why I put myself through this. I try to be as loving and accepting as I possibly can of people. I know people aren't perfect. Yet I love and accept them anyway. I know people do make mistakes. Yet I forgive and love and accept them anyway. I know some people are selfish yet I forgive them, and love and accept them anyway. Yet I'm told I'm weak. That I can't just let people go because that rare time when they do contact me, I listen and I care. Because even though there were bad times in the past with them, i still know they have the ability of being a good person. Why do people insist on hating those other individuals when they do something wrong? THEY ARE JUST HUMAN!
How would we feel if the one time we made a mistake people would hate us and shun us forever for it? I thought living life was about becoming a better person. A more developed and caring soul. To realize that it's not what happens in your life, or what you go through; that it's the way we treat people that really matters. That's what really helps us grow as individuals. Am I weak for talking to people who have wronged or hurt me in the past because I can forgive and accept them for not being perfect? Am I wrong for trying to be the best human being that I can be and have no prejudices? Am I wrong for trying to love others as God (whatever you wish to call It) would love?
If I'm wrong for loving, accepting and forgiving people the way that God, the Goddess, whatever you wanna call it would love, then this world is more fucked up than i gave it credit for. But you know what? I forgive the world. I forgive society. And i still forgive those who think I'm wrong. And I love them! So if i'm wrong, than all I ask is to be forgiven and loved despite my flaws. Is that so much to ask?
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