"What's the difference between parents supporting you in a decision vs. pushing you towards it." - Anon
This is a pretty good question. For the longest time my parents have always simply claimed they were being supportive when in all honesty it seemed as though they were trying to live vicariously through me. My mother is usually worse than my father with this. There is a big difference between supporting your child and pushy them towards something they don't really wish to do. For Example: All my life I've had a knack for art. My mother was never artistically talented and she was so proud of what I could do that she continued to push me towards doing art. At first it started out as fun things like little projects and such here and there, but as I got older I heard a common phrase over and over again. "If you don't go into a career for art, you're stupid." Said with all the love in her heart, might I add.
I have always enjoyed art, I honestly have, but if I make a career out of it, it will most likely be something like tattooing or piercing. Most of the art done nowadays is on computers anyway, so i have no interest in that. But as soon as I tell my mother, "Guess what? I'm applying to be an apprentice in a tattoo shop!" her response was less than thrilled. "A Tattoo shop? Couldn't you be a fashion designer or graphic designer"? Never pleased.
I've constantly felt pushed towards the decision of following a career in art, although I have no real interest in taking a hobby I love and turning it into work. Especially when it comes to art, I work horribly under deadlines. But that's only one side of the story.
When I told my father my dream was to become a tattoo artist, he immediately shunned the idea saying I would be some starving artist and barely making ends meet and that I needed a real career in life. Way to be supportive Dad. He's always pushed me to do something with medical billing, or filing or become a nail tech so I can work in his office and help him pay rent. He's incredibly selfish when it comes to things such as this. He's even offered to pay for courses so that I can get a certificate and help him up at the office. Could you see it now? My black hair and facial piercings as I greeted 72 year old diabetics to the Podiatrists office? Yeah, I laughed too.
Simply put, my parents were pushy when it came to my decisions in life. They know what they wanted for me, and part of me believes that in my mom's case, she wished to live vicariously through me. My father simply wanted a business partner even though the only interest I've had in any kind of medical career was to be a psychologist, not a medical office lackey. Simply put, it's not my thing.
I believe if they wished to be supportive, they would give constructive criticism: pointing out the pros and cons of my choices, and helping to weigh them against each other. Passing along helpful information that would be crucial to getting a start in the right direction on the career path of my choosing. Honestly, the more they pushed me towards doing something I didn't want, the more I despised my natural talents in art.
In conclusion, all I can really say is, regardless if they are supportive or pushy, follow your dream and do what makes YOU happy.
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