Porcelain Doll

PORCELAIN DOLL

Dress me in frills and lace to hide my scars.
Place that bonnet on my head, for it will be my noose.
Drape my curls in perfect ringlets that I may hide my lifeless eyes behind.
Paint the smile on my face that I may wear it as my mask.
Place me on the shelf with the rest of your collection, for your hungry eyes to feast upon.
Such beauty.
Such perfection.
Do they know inside I'm hollow?
Do they know inside this porcelain mask I hold the pain of the world?
My listless eyes gaze longingly at my surroundings.
Why can't I feel the joy around me?
Why is my beauty only superficial?
I feel so very alone, yet I'm placed with others like me.
Together, in our alienation we stand in pure perfection.
Suffering the neglect of those who claim to love us.
For although we are beautiful, we are fragile.
Kiss me and ruin my painted smile.
Hold me and crush my flawless curls.
Love me and wrinkle my immaculate silks.
Crush me and turn loose the darkness within.
I envy the ragdoll;
So soft.
So pliable.
So easily fixed when she is broken.
Used and abused yet, loved tenderly.
She is something to be adored in her uncomplicated splendor.
Filled with the simplest of soft creations.
Yet for all my beauty, I am abandoned on a dark shelf in your life.
Protected.
Kept safe.
I would rather be broken by love,
Than sit in loneliness forever never knowing the touch of true euphoria.
Break me with your passion and fill the hole within me with your tears of ecstasy.
For in that moment of pure rapture when I am broken will I feel the true joy and depth of your love.